the signs as garnet quotes

aries: i thought violence would be the answer.

taurus: we can't keep fighting these things forever! well, we can, but i don't want to.

gemini: i am a conversation.

cancer: that's a lie. your middle name is 'cutie pie'.

leo: [picks up a giant axe] never know when you might need one of these.

virgo: no dinner for 1,000 years.

libra: but i think you're just mad 'cause you're single.

scorpio: all comedy is derived from fear.

sagittarius: i drink coffee for breakfast.

capricorn: hello, this is mom universe. yes, the children are playing swords. sorry, with swords. they are bleeding. oh no, they are dead. don't call again. sorry, i panicked.

aquarius: you are an experience. make sure you're a good experience.

pisces: tiny hands. my only weakness.